I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
