so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
