I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
