Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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