i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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