You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
