so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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