I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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