i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
