I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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