how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
