Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
