Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize