So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Damn victory sex feels great
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
