Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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