yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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