I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
