I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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