The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
