put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
