what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think I am morally bankrupt
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
