Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
