we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
