No, you can still breathe under the balls.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
