Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
