im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
