new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
