I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
