wake up i wanna do it froggy style
one might say we're banned from that church
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
