Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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