Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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