He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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