i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
