hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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