she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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