I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
