Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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