New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
