i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
