I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
