it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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