i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
