my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I touched a dick in church today
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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