Who wears a wallet chain?!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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