standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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