I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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