I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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