Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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