New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
