Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who did Billy Mays play for?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
