We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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