The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
