ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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