using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how do flat chested girls get laid?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
