make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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