yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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