I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
