ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.