gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well