fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I faked an abortion last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.