put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
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