I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
