he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
