She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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