Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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