Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
