According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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