I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
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last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
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I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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