he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
