Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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