so explain again why im purple
no
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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