Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
