This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
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I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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