it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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